[Ragnarok]

I always carry a knife with me wherever I go. You never know when you're going to need to cut a piece of cake.

*Drops Pen in class* 3% right where you dropped it. 5% 10 feet away from you. 92% into another dimension never to be seen again

Clapping the longest during an assembly because you're a fearless NERD.hehe!

Are you single??Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.

When somebody says "10 years ago" I think about the 90's instead of 2002.

My wife banged her little toe on the coffee table this morning and broke it in 3 places. What the heck am I supposed to put my cup on now?

I just found human hairs in my McDonald's burger.Dammit, when did they start using natural ingredients?

Dear heart, please fall in love only when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

I've come up with a new business selling model audio books to the blind. All I do is record my wife trying to get into a dress she loves.

10 out of 10 people fail the challenge Below
Do not read this sentence.HaHa

TEACHER: “How can we keep our school clean?” STUDENT: “By staying at home...

 

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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]