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Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.

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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you, so he can have his rest and peace.

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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!