tere is shehar mein khud ko ganwa ke..... !!!

[life]

tere is shehar mein khud ko ganwa ke..... !!!
woh bohat der se chal raha tha.....

ussay ab apnay pairon mein shadeed dard mehsoos hone laga tha.....

garmi aur habas mein poora jism pighal ker behta hua lag raha tha.....

betahasha smoking se galley mein hadd se zyada takleef ho rahi thi.....

aankhen jalti hueen......jism bukhaar mein phunkta hua.....ussay laga woh thori der aur yunhi chala to chakkar kha ker girr parre ga.....

khud ko aur ghaseetna namumkin lagne laga to woh wahin sarak ke kinaare banne footpath per beth gaya

kaano mein lagge huay mp3 player mein pichle itnay ghanton se repeat per lagi hui ghazal phirse shru ho rahi thi.....usne sarr jhuka ker aankhen band ker leen.....

mohabbat kya hai, dil ka dard se mamoor ho jana
mata-e-jaan kisi ko sonp ker, majboor ho jana

seene mein ghutan barhi thi kahin......

sarr utha ker aasman ko dekhte huay usne gehri saans li.....jese ke saari ghutan nikaalna chahta ho.....

qadam hein raah-e-ulfat mein to manzil ki hawas kesi
yahan to aen manzil hai thakan se choor ho jana

is baar aankhon mein dhund barhi thi.....

jaib se cigarette ka packet nikal ker cigarette leker usne honton mein dabani chahi.....woh rona nahi chahta tha......

lighter ka shola cigarette tak laate huay achanak uski nazar saamne khelte huay bachon per parri.....woh achanak thithak ker ruk gaya.....

sarak ke us paar woh shayad koi park tha......jahan woh chalta chalta nikal aaya tha......aur ab wahan footpath per betha.....honton mein cigarette dabaye.....haat mein lighter pakre.....woh un bachon ko tiktiki baandhay khelta dekh raha tha.....

unhi ki tarah wahan aur bhi bachay thay......kuch log khush gappiyon mein masroof......kuch chehal qadmi kerte......kuch qehqahe lagate.....hanste muskurate......

koi achanak se saamne aa kharra hua tha.....wohi hansi liye.....wohi muskurahat liye......

"tum cigarette peena chorr do....main apni cheezen sanbhal ker rakhna shru ker doongi.....deal!"

usne cigarette honton se nikaal ker bayen haat mein pakar ker dayen haat mein pakre lighter se jala li......aur phir bayen haat ko halke halke janbish deta hua us se uthta dhuan dekhne laga....

"tum mere sath hotay ho to smoking nahi kerte na.....to bus phir....mere sath hi raha karro ab.....choot jayegi"

woh hans diya....

nazar se door reh ker bhi taqi woh paas hein mere
ke meri aashiqui ko aeb hai mehjoor ho jana

koi cheez uski gaal se behti hui.....thori se tapak ker cigarette ke sholay per parri thi......ab na shola tha aur na hi dhuan!

pichle 3 saal aek baar phir kisi film ki screen ki tarah uske dimaag mein chalne lagge thay....

"kerna kya chahte ho tum.....mera hi soch lo.....tumhein kuch ho gaya to main kya karooon gi.....main tang kisse kiya karoongi.....mere liye fursat kiske paas hogi......aur mujhe ice-cream kaun khilaya karrega"

"tum kuch ban gaye to mujhe khushi hogi"

"mujhe tum per poora yaqeen hai......chaahe kuch bhi ho jaye.....tum mujhe kabhi koi takleef nahi pohnchao ge"

"kya hua hai tumhein......bata do mujhe"

kisi ka haaton ka narm lams apne haaton per mehsoos hone laga tha.....

basa lene kisi ko dil mein, dil hi ka kaleja hai
paharon ko to bus aata hai jal ker toor ho jana

aansuon se ab uske bayen haat mein pakri cigarette poori tarah bheeg chuki thi.....

usne aek baar phirse ussay honton mein daba ker lighter se jalaane ki koshish ki.....kayi baar koshish kerne ke baad bhi her baar shola sarr sara ker bhujta gaya......

usne yeh nakam koshish chorr ker ussay phenk ker doosri cigarette nikaal ker honton mein daba li....

paas se koi apne sathi se bolta hua guzra tha....."nahi bus kafi der ho gayi......ab ghar chalte hein"

cigarette jalaate jalaate woh aek baar phir ruk gaya tha......dimaag aek baar phir bhatka tha......koi phirse muskuraya tha......

[life]

"bohat der ho chuki hai.....aa jao ab wapis ghar"

ussay saans lena muhaal lagne laga tha.....

yahan to sarr se pehle dil ka sauda shart hai yaaro
koi aasan hai kya sarmad-o-mansoor ho jana

kya tha woh.....kya ho gaya tha woh.....kahan tha woh......kahan aa gaya tha woh!

wahan beech sarak mein footpath per betha woh poori raat bhi guzaar deta.....to na ussay der ho sakti thi......aur na koi ghar wapis bula sakta tha......der unhen hoti hai jinhen wapis jana ho......wapis unhen bulate hein jinka koi ghar ho......aur uska koi ghar nahi tha.....koi ghar bulaane wala nahi tha......ab nahi tha!

jis gumaan mein.......jis chah mein woh sab kuch chorr ker yahaan chala aaya tha.....na woh gumaan raha tha......na hi chah.....aur na hi ghar!

Contd.

[life]

saraab ke peeche bhaagne waalon ki neeyat nahi.....qismat kharab hoti hai....kyunke woh ussay paani samajh lete hein jo paani hota nahi!

woh bhi shayad saraab ke peeche hi bhaagta aaya tha......ya shayad woh un chund bad-qismaton mein se aek tha.....jo paani ko apni nazron ke saamne sarab bante aur phir nazron se oujhal hotay dekhte hein!

usne bhi sab kuch apni nazron ke saamne oujhal hote dekha tha.....

woh aankhen.....woh baaten......woh lehja.....woh chehra.....

ussay yaad tha.....woh jab bhi ussay dekha kerti thi.....narmi se muskura diya kerti thi.....aur muskurate huay uski aankhon mein aek ajeeb sa tasar aata tha......aur woh usi tasar.....usi muskurahat ki chah mein her baar uske saamne ja kharra hota tha.....

usne yaad kerne ki koshish ki......aakhri baar kab usne woh muskurahat dekhi thi.....kab woh tasar dekha tha......

ussay woh shaam yaad aayi thi......jab woh yahan us say milne aaya tha.......ussay bina bataye.....aur ussay saaamne kharra dekh ker woh dil khol ker muskurayi thi.....hamesha ki tarah uski aankhen chamak uthi theen......aur us lamhay ussay laga tha.....zindagi mein kabhi yeh muskurahat chini to woh marr jaye ga!

aur ab.....ab jab woh muskurahat chin chuki thi.......to woh marr nahi paa raha tha.......ji nahi paa raha tha.....sirf bhatak raha tha.....un aankhon ki chah mein.....us muskurahat ki talash mein......lekin kahin woh aankhen nahi theen......woh muskurahat nahi thi......woh tasar nahi tha......kahin nahi!

jis manzil ke liye apna thikana chorr aaya tha.....ab woh manzil kahin nahi thi.....aur na hi thikana baqi raha tha......na aage barh sakta tha......na peeche murr sakta tha.......kahin beech khala mein muallaq tha!

sarr utha ker usne aek baar phirse aasmaan ko dekha tha......jese Kisi ko talaash raha ho.....

bohat pehle kahin sunna hua farman yaad aaya tha....

"Aek teri chahat hai....aur aek meri chahat hai......hoga wohi jo meri chahat hai......pus tune aggar superd ker diya apne aapko uske.....jo meri chahat hai to main tujhe woh bhi doonga jo teri chahat hai......lekin aggar tune nafarmani ki uski jo meri chahat hai......to main tujhe thaka doonga us main.....jo teri chahat hai......aur phir hoga wohi.....jo meri chahat hai!"

[life]

aansu aek baar phirse se chehra bhigone lagge thay.....to main tujhe thaka doonga.......to main tujhe thaka doonga.....!!!!

kisi haare huay jawari ki tarah usne sarr jhukaya tha......kaano mein kisi ki talkh awaz goonjne laggi thi......

"tum aaj tak selfish ho ker hi to jiye ho......jese dil chaha......jese marzi chaha....tumne kabhi socha hi kahan un logon ke baare mein jo tumse pyaar kerte hein ya tumhari parwah kerte hein"

"yeh meri zindagi hai......main jese chaahe issay ji sakti hoon.......jo chaahe decisions le sakti hoon......main wohi karroongi aur tab hi karroongi jo aur jab mera dil karre ga......woh nahi jo tum decide karro"

"tumhein aisa kyun lagta hai......ke mujhe sab kuch tumhein batana chahiye......main utna hi bataoongi jitna mujhe batana hoga......tab hi bataoon gi jab batana hoga.......phir mujhe is se koi faraq nahi parta ke tum kya jaanna chahte ho aur kab jaanna chahte ho"

"you have to give and maintain space in a relationship......kisi ke sarr per itna kyun sawar hona ke saamne waale ko suffocation feel hone lagge"

[life]

"haan main badal gayee hoon......sab hi badal jaate hein......not a big deal....aur aggar badli hoon to apni marzi se badli hoon.....aur mujhe koi chah nahi dubara se wesa hi banne ki jesi main thi......aggar tum aisa chahte ho to yeh tumhari soch hai, tumhari problem hai.....mera is se koi ta'alluq nahi"

kya hua tha......kese hua tha......Kisne kiya tha.....kyun kiya tha......saare darwaaze aek aek ker us per khol diye gaye thay......her sawal ka jawab mil chuka tha......aur ab saare jawab liye woh wahan khali haat betha tha!

wahan bethey bethey ussay zindagi mein kiya her gunah yaad aaya tha.....her nafarmani yaad aayi thi......her hatdarmi yaad aayi thi....

maan ke saare aansu.....baap ki her pareshani......Allah ki her meharbani.....ussay sab kuch yaad aaya tha......sab kuch!

kaun khush-naseeb log hotay hein woh jinhen gunahon ke auz dozakh milti hai......her galti ka hisaab wujood ki takeef se dena parta hai.....jinhen saza ke tor per manzil ka moh de ker aise bhatka nahi diya jata.......aise dhakke nahi parwaye jaate......aise khwaar nahi kiya jata!

usne zindagi ko hamesha chutkiyon mein urraya tha.......uska time up chuka tha.....ab zindagi ki baari thi!

"Aap se intizar nahi hua na mera"

woh barbaraya tha.....

[life]

"maine wahin to aana tha.....aab-e-hayat thori pee rakha tha jo saari zindagi yahin rehta......mera itizar ker lete.....saare hisab kitab aamne saamne bitha ker le letay.....
kyun is tarah bebas ker diya mujhe.....kyun itna be-ikhtiyar ker diya ke main andhon ki tarah aankhen band kiye uske peeche bhaaga......bina kuch soche......bina kuch samjhe.......aek baar bhi nahi socha.....jisse buniyad bana ker apni zindagi ki her cheez kharri ker raha hoon......woh buniyad hil gayi.....to kya karronga!
aur ab.....ab kya karroon.....ab kahan jaoon......koi rah-e-faraar, koi rah-e-nijaat hai mere paas?
duniya ko phirse fatah bhi ker loon.....thokron mein rakh loon.....kaiynat ki her cheez la ker qadmon mein la daaloon.....phir bhi her baar woh yunhin muskurati hui mere saamne aa kharri hogi.......mujhe yeh ehsaas dilaane ke liye.....ke maine kya ganwa diya......koi bhi shay is khasaare ka azala ker sakke gi.....uska kaffara ada ker sakke gi?
kyun daal di Aap ne uski mohabbat mere dil mein.....kyun rol diya mujhe aise.....kya mila Aap ko.....Apne hone ka ehsaas hi dilana tha.....pyaar se dila dete......itni takleef kyun......itni khwari kyun......kya Aap bhi mohabbat nahi kerte mujhse.....!?!?!??!

woh bachon ki tarah ghutno mein sarr diye hichkiyon ke sath rota raha.....!!!!!

[Abewsha]

nice sharing...!!
like it...!!