Humaila
08-03-2009, 02:10 AM
A mahr/dowry (gift from the man to the new wife) should be agreed upon before the actual marriage.
The dowry can be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his income level and ability to give.
Although jewelry is permissible to be given as the dowr or part of the dowr, it should not be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the left third finger and given as part of the marriage ceremony.
A couple may stipulate in the marriage contract that he will not take on an additional wife, only under the agreement that if he does this, they will get divorced.
As a muslimah, this is not necessarily to your benefit to make such a stipulation. For instance, you could become paralyzed from the waist down, and if your husband were to want a second wife, he would have to divorce you, but Allah swt in His Infinite Wisdom, has made provisions that would allow you to remain secure and his wants still be fulfilled. Not that he must find another wife under such a circumstance, but it is his right, and you may love him so much that you want him to take on another wife, but at the same time you very likely may not want a divorce. This is only one such example. Recognize that you cannot fortell the future and trust Allah's provisions for up to four wives as a blessing for you and not a bad thing. No-one is saying that the man should have up to four wives, but that under certain conditions, there is a great wisdom and benefit in this arrangement. Allahu Alam.
What is agreed upon in the marriage contract, on any halal matter, stands - unless the two come to a mutual agreement to change this stipulation, so long as there is nothing haram they agree to do, etc. So, she can waive that right - upon mutual agreement only - keeping in mind that the original marriage contract takes precedence over arguements or disputes later in the marriage.
A man who has four wives cannot divorce one wife and marry another woman while the divorced wife is still in her iddah (waiting period) , UNLESS the divorce was irrevocable, i.e. it was her third divorce.
A marriage should be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two women.
Give your spouse his/her rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these rights.
The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, "Soon others will be preferred to you, and there will be things which you will not like." The companions of the Prophet asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us to do (in this case)?" He said, "(I order you) to give the rights that are on you and to ask your rights from Allah." [Sahih Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud]
The rights of a husband include:
Halal marital relations to the degree that they are able
That the wife will guard in the husband's absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e. her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the two)
That she would not fast while in his presence, without his permission.
If it is an obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason, such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason to forbid it.
As to when she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall.
For non-obligated fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each other's presence during the fast.
To move the wife, have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously stipulated before marriage
That she will not spend his money against his halal orders
That she will not permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission
If seeing ill behavior from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly (in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should stop any means of annoyance upon her.
The dowry can be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his income level and ability to give.
Although jewelry is permissible to be given as the dowr or part of the dowr, it should not be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the left third finger and given as part of the marriage ceremony.
A couple may stipulate in the marriage contract that he will not take on an additional wife, only under the agreement that if he does this, they will get divorced.
As a muslimah, this is not necessarily to your benefit to make such a stipulation. For instance, you could become paralyzed from the waist down, and if your husband were to want a second wife, he would have to divorce you, but Allah swt in His Infinite Wisdom, has made provisions that would allow you to remain secure and his wants still be fulfilled. Not that he must find another wife under such a circumstance, but it is his right, and you may love him so much that you want him to take on another wife, but at the same time you very likely may not want a divorce. This is only one such example. Recognize that you cannot fortell the future and trust Allah's provisions for up to four wives as a blessing for you and not a bad thing. No-one is saying that the man should have up to four wives, but that under certain conditions, there is a great wisdom and benefit in this arrangement. Allahu Alam.
What is agreed upon in the marriage contract, on any halal matter, stands - unless the two come to a mutual agreement to change this stipulation, so long as there is nothing haram they agree to do, etc. So, she can waive that right - upon mutual agreement only - keeping in mind that the original marriage contract takes precedence over arguements or disputes later in the marriage.
A man who has four wives cannot divorce one wife and marry another woman while the divorced wife is still in her iddah (waiting period) , UNLESS the divorce was irrevocable, i.e. it was her third divorce.
A marriage should be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two women.
Give your spouse his/her rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these rights.
The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, "Soon others will be preferred to you, and there will be things which you will not like." The companions of the Prophet asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us to do (in this case)?" He said, "(I order you) to give the rights that are on you and to ask your rights from Allah." [Sahih Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud]
The rights of a husband include:
Halal marital relations to the degree that they are able
That the wife will guard in the husband's absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e. her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the two)
That she would not fast while in his presence, without his permission.
If it is an obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason, such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason to forbid it.
As to when she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall.
For non-obligated fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each other's presence during the fast.
To move the wife, have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously stipulated before marriage
That she will not spend his money against his halal orders
That she will not permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission
If seeing ill behavior from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly (in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should stop any means of annoyance upon her.