| Hussain JoKeZ CoRnEr |

[Hussain]

:salam:

firednz hope ev 1 iz f9..

well friendz iss thread me apko yahan mera jOkez

ka collection parhne ko mily ga

umeed hai apKo pasand ayein Gy..

Note

Plz Press Da Button thanx if u lyk my Jokez

Jo b Joke Acha Lagy Kindly thanx DiJYe Ga

Shukria :0028:

[Hussain]

Pathan: Doctor Sahab Plastic Surgery karwanay main kitna kharcha aayega?


Doctor: 5 laakh..

Pathan: Agar Plastic Hum day to??

[Hussain]

Reporter: Hakumat ne Sawat & Malakand mutasareen ka bohat help kya
Khana, Pani, Kapre, Camp ko sab kuch dya.




Pathan: Khak help kya! Hukumat ne NASWAR to behja he nhi.

[Hussain]

Phatan: Yaar mere dost k abbu foat ho gae Hy main ne use phone krna hy, Par call bohat lambi ho jaey gi.

Major Rohail: Happy hour on karva k kr lo sasta rahe ga.


Pathan: Oy afssos ki baat "Happy" hour se kese kru?

[Hussain]

Ek Phatan mobile ki dukan pr gya ur Bola:

Mujhe Kaan main Lagane wala mobile chaheye

.

Dukandar after much thinking
"Aap ka matlab hy Bluetooh Handsfree se hy"

[Hussain]

Aik dafa pathan ne Peshawar se Lahore call krni thi:

Us ne socha k sab se sasti call konsi parre ge,

Phir Us ne

Peshawar se Lahore aa k local cal ke.

[Hussain]

Teacher: Translate into Urdu.

"She is Kidding"


Pathan: Woh Bachay Day Rahi Hai.:D:D

[Hussain]

Ek Pathan ki 10 Betiyan thin:

Phir jaa kar usko Ek Beta Hua...

Pathan ne uska Naam kya rakh hoga???





Zaroorat Khan.

[Hussain]

Pathan ka shair:
Na Botal main,Na jaar main.
Na hotel main na Bar main.
Na bike peh, Na car main...
Na Ishq mein, Na pyar mein.

Jo maza hy "NISWAR" mein.

[Hussain]

Teacher: Bary ho kar kya bano gay?

Pathan: Mera Baap kehta hai k Jitna Marzi Parh Lo, Woh nahi ban saktay jo chahtay ho..

Teacher: Tum kya banna chahtay ho?

Pathan: "LADY DOCTOR"

[Hussain]

Reporter: Friends of Pakistan ne Sawat/Malakand main mutasaren k liye Karoron dollar dye hain.


Phatan:
Sab jhoot hai hame to Ek bhi Dollar nhi mila sirf Pakstani Rupee mele hy.

[Hussain]

Phatan ne Doctor ko bohat mara:

Logo ne pocha kyou?


Phatan:
Etni garmi main kehta hy Paani Boil Kar k Piyo.

[Hussain]

Pathan ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya:

Kisi ne Mashwara diya k Ghar k Bahar Chalking kardo ta kay Police samjhay k Purana Ghar hai.


Pathan ne Deewar pe likha...

ANAAR KALI KO REHA KARO. :-)

[Hussain]

Teacher: "Al-Bairooni" k Baap ka Naam batao.

Pathan bohat soch kar bola:



"Al-Androoni"

[Hussain]

1 Larai me Pathan ne Bullet Proof Jacket ki jaga Macher dani pehan rakhi thi..



Poocha: Q...?


Pathan bola: Jis me macher nai gus $kta us me goli kese gusse ga.

[Hussain]

1 Pathan Hajj par gaya:

Or zor zor se DUA mangnay laga.

"YA ALLAH MERE SARAY GUNAAH MAAF KAR DAY,

WARNA MEREY 1,50,000 WAPAS KAR DAY".

[Hussain]

Aik Pathan English sekhne Obama k pas gya.

2 Maah bad wapas aaya to usay call aayi.

Pathan: Who is speaking?

Dosri taraf: Khocha hum Obama bolti hai.

[Hussain]

Peshawar ki Police ka bhi jawab nahi hai....

1 Pathan talaab main Nahaa raha tha,

Police wala kehta hai: Chal Oye! bahar aa kar kapray pehan..


Teri Talaashi leni hai...

[Hussain]

Wife: Aap bohat motay hoty ja rahy ho.

Pathan: Tum bhi to kitni Moti ho gai ho.

Wife: Main Maa bannay wali hon.

Pathan: Main bhi BAAP banny wala hon.

[Hussain]

1 Jamadaar gutter mein jhuk ker kachra nikal raha tha:

1 pathan wahan se guzartay hue ruk ker bola:



"O yara! 2 Naan amara b laga dena.."

[Hussain]

Teacher: Who is the Father of Ibn-e-Seena?

Pathan soch main Gumm...


After some time, Pathan Answered:





John Cena!!!

[Hussain]

Pathan ki B.V bhaag gai 3 din baad wapis aaye:

Pathan ghusse se bola: Ab kya lene aayi ho?

Pathan ki BV boli:
"Main apne mobile ka charger bhool gai thi"

[Hussain]

1 Pathan Namaz parh raha tha:

Dosra us k baray main kisi ko bata raha tha k

Ye barray Namazi, Parhaizgaar aur Muttaqi hain,


Woh Pathan Namaz torr kar bola: "Hum Haji bhi hai."

[Hussain]

Pathan asked Doctor: Milk peeny se rung gora hota hai?

Dr: Haan us main Calcium hota hai, isi liye.



Phtan: Chal jhootay, Phir bhains ka bacha kyon kala hota hai?

[Hussain]

3 Pathan Film "Sholay" dekhnay Gaye:


Hero ne kaha: "Basanti in Kutton k samnay mat Nachna."


Pathan kharay ho kar bolay: "Ticket liye hai, Iska baap bhi nachay ga."

[Hussain]

Molana sahab jumma k khutbe mai:

Aaj kal Cable pe Channel bohat kharab aa rahy hain.


Pathan: Nahi hamary ghar to saaf arahy hain.
Aap apna wire check karwao. :P

[Hussain]

1 Darya k Kinaray 2 Sardar Chamach (Spoon) se darya main Dahi daal rahy thy.

Ek Pathan ne dekha to Pucha: Khocha ye kya kar rahy ho?

Sardar: Hum Lassi Bana rahy hain.

Pathan: Ha ha ha ha.. O Pagal ka bacha log is liye tum par lateefay banatay hain.


Itni Lassi Tumhara Baap Piye Ga?

[Hussain]

2 Pathans Accident mai mar gye,
Frishta Aya Dono Se Pocha Kon Ho?

Bolay Muslman..

1 se Pocha Naam Kia Hai?

Bola Ikhlas Frishty Ne Kaha Sura ikhlas Sunao Usne jaldi se suna Di or Bach Gya.

Frishtay Ne 2nd Se Naam Pocha Wo Preshan Ho Kr Bola:

Naam To Yaseen Hai Magr PYAR Se Sab KOSAR Kehty Hain.

[Hussain]

Pathan School main hans raha tha:
1 Larka bola: Chup kar jao.

Pathan: Kyon? Aur tum kon ho?

Larka: Main Monitor hon.


Pathan: Main CPU hon. :-)

[Hussain]

Pathan Amrood bech raha tha:

Aik admi aya bola khan sahab amrud mei se keera nikla to?

Khan Sahab: Bhai ye to tera kismat hai.

Kal ek admi ka Moter Cycle nikla tha.

[Hussain]

Pathan apni Parrosan se: Mrs Thakur! Mai ne Aap se kaha tha k apne betay ko meri naqlien utarne se mana krien!

Kya usay mana kia?


Parrosan: Yes! Main ne usay mana kia k janwron jesi hrkat na kia kro.

[Moni]

very nice Jokes hussain keep it up

[Hussain]

ty Moni:D

[A L i]

lolz nice

[(¯*♥¤»ƙɧՄՏɧՅԾԾ«¤♥*¯)]

VERY NICE LOL :d

[Hussain]

ty Ali

[Hussain]

ty khsbhOo :D

[Hussain]

keep visting:)

[~*~ Laila ~*~]

:lol:
nice jokes
keep it up

[Hussain]

ty lailo

[Hussain]

Teri Bay-Rukhi ka shikwa main kis se karon Faraz!!!
Yahan har Dost kehta hai...



Tujhse SET nahi ho rahi hai to Number Mujhe de de. :-)

[Hussain]

Pathan: Mera ghar ground floor pr hai, Lift se upper aa jana.

Major Rohail: Ground floor pr hy to lift kyu?

Pathan: Pehle 2 floors pr parking hy, us k upper mera ghar hy.

[Hussain]

Pathan's Wife: Main kapray nichor nichor k thak gayi hon, Tum mujhe ek Spinner kyon nahi dila detay?



Next day Pathan SHAHID AFRIDI ko le aaya.

[Hussain]

Pathan: Aaj main bohat preshan hu aur mujhe Dar lag rha hy.

Major Rohail: Kyu?

Pathan: Aaj main test de k aya hu pta nhi fail ho ga ya pass.

Major Rohail: Kon sa test?

Pathan: Blood Test

[Hussain]

Khan: Yar Abhi Tumhara Amma Ka Khansi Kaisa Hay?

Friend: Band Ho Gai Hay, Magar Sans Ruk Ruk K Aa Rahi Hay.

Khan: Koi Bat Nai, Khuda Kary Ga, Wo Bi Band Ho Jaye Ga.

[Hussain]

Pathan apny Mehmaan se: O yaara! Is Pankhay k neeche betho, Tumhain Sawab hoga.


Mehmaan: Sawaab, Woh kese?

Pathan: Hum ye Pankha Masjid se Utaar k laee hai...

[Hussain]

Pathan Apni Maa se: Kya aapne mujhe paida hony se pehle dekha tha?



Maa: Nahi to...


Pathan: To phir Paida hony k baad aapne mujhe pehchana kese?

[Hussain]

1 Pathan Bohat taiz bhagtay bhagtay ruk gaya....




Why?



Aby Saans phool gai thi uski...

Tum log bhi na Jaan le lo Pathanon ki... :-)

[Hussain]

Ek Pathan Bandooq ley kar Machhli(Fish) k shikaar karny Jungle main gaya.


Confused?


Don't take tension.
Woh Pathan hai, Kuch bhi kar sakta hai.
Geo Pathan.

[Hussain]

Question: Dunia main agar light nahi hoti to T.V kaisey dekhtey????





Pathan: Mom-Batti jala k.

[Hussain]

Major Rohail: Yar tum truck ko dekh k kaanp kyu jaate ho?

Pathan: Ek Truck driver meri b.v ko bhaga k le gaya tha.


Hr baar lgta hy
jese khana kharab
wapas krne ayaa hy.

[Hussain]

Masjid k liye chande ki apeal ho rhi thi,
1 admi khara ho k kehta he me bulb lgva donga.

Dosra: Me tube lgva donga.

Pthan josh me a k kehta he me cable lagva donga!

[Hussain]

Pathan ki girlfriend ne usko message kya:

"I Miss U"



Bohat dair sochny k baad Pathan ne jawab dya:

"I Student U"

[Hussain]

Pathan 2 doctor: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?

Pathan: Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr: Aisa kub hota hay?
Pathan: Phone kartay waqt.

[Hussain]

1 Pathan ko gadhy ny laat mari
Usy gussa aa gaya

Wo utha or gadhy ko 2-3 laten mar kar bola:
"Tu kia samhajta hai, Main tujh sy kam hon...?"

[Gurria]

haha!

[~*~ Laila ~*~]

hehe
very funny

[Hussain]

ty guria

[Hussain]

ty lailo

[~N~]

lollz

[~*~ Laila ~*~]

hehe
rocking hussain:D:D

[Sadi]

:clap:

[Hussain]

ty lailo

[Hussain]

ty sadi

[MeOw*]

hmm okey

[Hussain]

:D

[Gangster]

:groupwave1:

[Hussain]

thanx DaNo

[Dast-e-Tanhai]

lolz very funny himi :cool:

[Hussain]

:circleoffriends:

[Hussain]

Teacher : Allah ne “PAIT” kiu banaya hai? ? ?
.
.
Pathan : SHALWAAR bandhnay k liye.

[Hussain]

Ek Pathan janazy main Pit raha tha,
Bad main Pathan se pucha to usne bataya:
Cotton nahi mil rahi thi to maine Murday ki naak main Naswaar laga di.

[Hussain]

Translate into english.
"wo meri nawasi hai".
Pathan:
"She is my
Eighty Nine".

[Hussain]

Pathan to 2nd Pathan: Yaar koi aisa Gift bata jo teri bhabhi k seedha Dil par lagay.
2nd Pathan: Goli maar day.

[Hussain]

Dunya main woh kon si 2 cheezen hain jo ek doosray k baghair nahi reh saktin? Aur dono bekaar hain?
Socho
Aur Socho
Pathan aur Naswaar.

[Hussain]

Ek pathan or sardar ki khob pitai hue.
Dono birthday party me muft ka khana khaty huay pakray gaye or kehne lagay,
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Hum larki walo ki taraf se hain“

[Nida-H]

Nice Collection.. :D

[D.M]

nice gudh.....

[1943]

:lol:

nyc jokez

keep itup

[Hussain]

fankz

[Hussain]

Nice Collection.. :D

fankz:D:D

[Hussain]

:lol:

nyc jokez

keep itup

fankzzz

keep visitinG

[Hussain]

Translate into english.
"wo meri nawasi hai".
Pathan:
"She is my
Eighty Nine".

[Hussain]

1 Pathan 2nd Pathan se puchta hai: Yara! Ye kya tum ne Generator main Petrol ki jaga Coca Cola Daal hai?
2nd Pathan: Nahi yara.
1st Pathan: To ye Brrr Brrrrr kyon karta hai??

[Hussain]

Pathan: yar ye joray kahan bante hen..?
Sardar : Asman par,
Pathan: shit yara shit boht bara galti ho gaya..
Sardar: kiya huwa?
Pathan: hum to Darzi ko de aya.

[Hussain]

Sardar 2 boss: Muje apki beti se shadi karni he
Boss:Teri income to us k toilet paper b afford nhi kr sakti
Sardar:Acha! itni poti karti hy!
phr rehne do http://decentsms.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif

[JunOOn]

Hahahaha nice jokes

[Hussain]

Hahahaha nice jokes

:gimmefive:

[Hussain]

PATHAN: Kal koi meri biwi k purse se 2000 rupe le gya.

Man: Jhot bolti hy, 1900 the maine khud gine the.

PATHAN: Yaar paise ka msla nai he bas tu admi ka pata kr.

[Hussain]

Pathan Ne 1 Ghar me Chori Ki,
Sab Kch Lutne K Bad Jayenamaz B Utha Li.

Malik Bola Ye Jaynamaz To Chor Jao

Pathan: Khocha Hm Tum Ko Kia Kafir Nazar Ata he.

[Hussain]

Warning!!!!
Nifayat Pasand log ye msg na parhen.


Queen:
Jo 3 glass THOOK pye ga
Mein us se shadi kru gi.

Pathan 2 glass pee k ruk gya.

Queen: Kyu..Haar maan le?

Phatan: Nhi "BALGHAM" chaba rha hu.

[Hussain]

Ek pathan ko UFONE mein job mili agly din us ko maar maar k nikal dia gya.
Bcoz
1st Call: Sir meri UFONE ki SIM block ho gai hai
Pathan: To pagal ZONG le lo na.

[Hussain]

2 Pathano k beech fight ho rahi thi.
1 Pathan: Khocha ham tera kapra phar k tumko nanga kr dega.
2 Pathan: Khocha serious larai main Romantic baat mat karo.

[Hussain]

Ek Pathan apna Saman Ly kr GEO k office pohnch gya or pocha

"WO BAJI KAHA HY? JO KHABRON K BEECH MAI KEHTI HY HAMARY SATH RHYE GA"

"Me Sath Rhny aya ho"

[Hussain]

Aik pathan apne rickshy k sath khra tha
aik aadmi aya or pucha: khan bhai iqbal town jao ge?

Khan: mei to chla jaunga lakin mere rickshay ka kon khayal rakhega?

[Hussain]

Pathan: Yaara hamara b.v hum ko chor k chala gaya.

Friend: Tum us ko piyar nhi kerta ho ga.

Pathan: O nhi oye, Qasam Khuda ka, saga behan samjhta tha uss ko.

[Hussain]

Pathan: Khudkushi per taqreer kar raha tha.

Jazbati ho kar kehne laga,

Khudkushi Haram hai,

Zulm hai,

Gunah hai,

Is se behter hai ke insan apne aap ko Goli maar de...

[Hussain]

Aik Train ulatnay ka Case Adalat mein tha.

Train ka Driver jo ke Pathan tha,

Us se Poocha ke tumne Train Patri se kiu Utarai??

Pathan: O yaara aik banda samnay aa gaya tha to brake marne ka time nahi tha.

Hamara Assistant ne bola ke is ke oper char ha do.

Wakeel: Phir?

Pathan: Bas woh banda Patri se utar gaya..!

[Hussain]

1 sadar nay niya mobile kharida:

Doston nay kaha ka paa G matiyai to khila do.

Or sardar nay:




Mobile baich ker matiye khila di.

[Hussain]

Aik Pathan kahana kha raha tha

*
*
*

*
*
*

Ab kya woh khana bhi na khaye,
Tum logo ko to Pathan ka naam sunte hi joke chaiye hota hai...

[Hussain]

Sardar Pathan Se: Yaar meri saas k birthday hay koi sasti aur achi antique cheez batao jo ussay don.

Pathan: O khucha, aisa karo humara Sussar de do.

[Hussain]

PatHaN AskEd a DR: Doodh Peene Se RaNg Gora hOta Hai KyA?

Dr: haaN Doodh Me CaLciuM hota hai is liyE

PatHan: acha to PhiR bhaNs ka BaccHa kyUn KaLa hOta hAi?;->

[Hussain]

Teacher: Main teri Maa Hoti Tou Main Tujhy 2 Din Main Sudhaar Deti ...

Pathan: Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Sy Mashwara Kar k Bata Doonga ... ;->

[Hussain]

1st Pathan: 2+2 kitne hote hain?

2nd: Tummhe pata nai mjhe Social Studies nhi aati.

1st: Per main ne to Islamiat ka sawal pocha hy.

[Hussain]

Pathan: Miss apne kal mujhe call q ki thui kya kaam tha mujh se??

Teacher: Main ne to koi call nhn ki.

Pathan: To phir mere mobile pe kyun likha tha "1 miss call"?

[Hussain]

Pathan to Doctor: Aapne Nurse bohat achi rakhi hai.
Uska hath lagte he main theek ho gaya.

Doctor: Janta hon. Thappad ki aawaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi.

[Hussain]

Pathan wins 20 Crore from Rs.20 lottery ticket..

Dealer gave 16 Crore after deducting tax..

Angry Pathan: Hum ko poora 20 Crore deo ya mera 20 Rs wapis karo!

[Hussain]

1st Pathan 2 2nd:Eid ki namaz parhny Q nhi aya

2nd: Me araha tha k rasty mai he log namaz parhty dekhy wahin parh li.

Ajib namaz thi 1 bnda so raha tha us k pichy sb parh rahy thy or koi sjda b nhi tha.

1st:Khocha tu janaza parh k agaya hai!

2nd:Kya bat karta hai mai sab ko mbark bad b dai k agaya

[Hussain]

Pathan: Meri aulaad nhi hoti

Dost: Aap mazaar pe dua kro

NEXT YEAR

Dost: Kya howa?

Pathan: Nhi howi

Dost: Konsy maazar pe gaye thy?

Pathan: Quaid-e-Azam k Maazar pe

[Hussain]

Teacher: "Sara sab larkon se baat karti hai"

Batao is sentence mein Sara kya hai??

Pathan Student: Sir Sara Be-Gairat hai...

[Hussain]

Pathan was Kissing a Girl inside a Car

Police Man:Kya kar rahe ho?

Pathan:Nazar nahi aa raha?

Police Man: Mera number kab aaye ga?

Pathan: Is larki ke bad.

[Hussain]

Aik Pathan apny shoulder pe Parrot ko ly k ja raha tha.

Aik bandy ny poocha..
Ye jaanwar kahan se lai ho?

TOTA BOLA,
"Peshawar"

[Hussain]

Khan Sahab ne bacha aghwa kya or tawan k liye "10 lakh rupe kal subha pull k niche pohncha do" Ka sticker uske piche chipka kar wapis ghar bhej dia.

Dusre din pull k niche gaya 10 lakh mil gaye!

Sath sticker pe likha tha..

"Khuda ka Qasam paise ka gham nai!Gham is bat ka he k khan ne khan ko loota!"

[Hussain]

Aik Pathan ki poetry.
Na botal main, Na jar main.

Na hotl main, na bar main.

Na bike pe, na car main.

Na Ishq mein na pyar mein.

Jo maza he "Niswar" mein.

[Hussain]

Pathan: I'll climb tallest mount swim d deepest ocean, walk on hot coal barefoot. Just 4 u.
Girl: So Sweet! Can u come 2 meet me?
Pathan: Not now! Abi ammi nai aany dengi.

[Hussain]

Teacher: Qayamat k din zamin phat jayegi,
Aasmaan tukray tukray ho jayega,
Har cheez fana ho jayegi.

Pathan Student: To kya us din school ki chutti hogi?

[Hussain]

aj wo azeem din hai jab aj se

5000 sal

pehly
aik aisi
medcine
ejad hui
thi jis ki
waja
se
aaj
puri
dunya
k pathan
zinda hain

h@ppy n@sw@r d@y!

[MeOw*]

nice

[D.M]

nice collection..

[Sapney]

lolzz

[Hussain]

ty hz

[Hussain]

ty sapNo

[Hussain]

nice collection..
:D

[SHAYAN]

V.Nyc....

[Hussain]

:0026:

[jalpari]

good goden goder good egood

[FarazAli]

nice sharing

[maaseik]

slaam jenaab h r u aap nee muje pechna nahi

[saniaa83]

thanks hussain for sharing this bunddle of laughing stuff

[davidshawn]

nice sharing.....

[Alishbah83]

jokes me dushmani ki baat kch achi nhn lgti wt u think?:weight-lifter:

[Alishbah83]

hahaha:17:

[Dewaangi]

nice sharing tnx

[Dewaangi]

nice sharing tnx..

[♥☆∂яєαмιηg яσѕє♪]

lOl..........nYC

[CaReLeSs]

Lolzzz
Nyc.....

[*NRB*]

nice joke husnain.. lolzz