[hashmi_lonly]

Sallam

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Culture Clash
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18 April 2009 at 09:06
During my time at UIA I have had several Arabs and Africans asked me how you can stand being married to Malay. I was at first a little shocked and offended by the question. I informed them that it very wonderful to be married to Malay. Some pointed out that every Arab or African they knew married to a Malay girl ended in divorce. To them the common problem was the Malay girl and culture clash. I pointed out that it is the man’s fault and it is culture class but the man should work hard to over come all culture clash by using Q and S (as those in IOK should know, LOL, even though Moten has deIslamized me hehehehe) Then they went on about food, I told them my wife learn to cook American food so 3 nights a week we eat Malay food, 3 nights a week we ate American food, every Friday was something different (Chinese, Indian, Native American, Mexican) till we had four sons, now Friday night is Pizza Hut pizza night. So now no problem with the culture of food. So every time we had a problem, I looked at the cultural differences looked at the Q and S then went her way or insisted that we go my way. This worked great with the exceptions of three major cultural clashes.

To most Americans women jewellery is their. It is theirs to keep and save to give to their children some day. If a woman sell or pawns her jewellery it means the husband has failed to provide. So if your wife wants more jewellery you don’t sell off parts of her jewellery to buy her more you just buy her more. Malays women on the other hand, buy and sell their jewellery all the freaking time. At a drop of a hate if they no longer like some piece of jewellery they will sell it for its gold value and buy new. My first trip to Malaysia my wife said she wanted new earrings and I said fine go buy some. She implied she didn’t like this necklace her dad gave her and was going to sell it, I said no, just buy a new pair of earrings. She went out and sold the necklace and got the new earrings. I was greatly offended I felt as if she was saying to her family that I could not provide for my wife, that I could not afford to buy her a new pair of earrings. That night there was a fight, later I read the Q and S on the concept of what a woman owns, my wife was right the jewellery was hers to do with as she pleased and I had no right to say anything. SO I apologised and the fight was over.

I set very few rules for my wife, the only major rule was and is, be home before sunset, if you are not able to be home before sunset phone me and let me know you will be late. Again during my 1st trip to Malaysia, my wife was out with her sister, sunset came and past and no call. I got worried. When at 10 pm her and her sister came home I was mad. Her sister was of the opinion that because she was out with family she needed not to call me and let me know she was ok, I was to assume she was ok. I was of the opinion in today age of cell phones it is no problem to keep me informed. A fight started, June’s dad took June and her sister’s side but June’s mom took my side. In the end I looked to the Q and S, and I felt I was right. June then agreed that she was wrong and apologised to me. Fight over and forgotten.

The last major clash came with the birth of Alexander-Idris, as you know he had infant insomnia. The MD was trying to find out why he had it. The MD and June wanted to give him Meds (narcotics) to put the boy to sleep. I thought this was too much, when all I had to do was put one shot of beer into his milk and he would get calories he needed and go to sleep. The fight that went on was epic. We even had to go to the Imam of a majid to work it out. Finally I admitted I was wrong and we used the Meds.

The point being, you will always fight with your spouse. If you are from different cultures you will have other areas that might cause a fight with your spouse. But if you use Q and S, with love and understanding you can work out these problems and put up with your crazy matsalleh husband for 14 years.





Clothing, Culture Clash
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19 April 2009 at 08:09
From the time I embraced till today I have the same argument with some Arabs and African, what is considered modest dressing. The Q and S are very easy to understand a man and a woman must dress modestly. To me all cultural forms of dressing as long as it is modest is allowed. I could dress in an Arab thob, Pakistani outfit, Malay outfit, or western jeans and a T shirt, as long as I dress modest. The same holds true for my wife. I have gotten her Korean, Apache, Mexican, Western outfits as long as they are modest and cover what needs to be covered and are not tight fitting it is Halal (allowed). The Q and S, does not say I must wear the same clothing as the Prophet pbuh did in the desert in the 600 CE, nor wear brown contact lenses, get a sun tan, nor dye my hair black to look more like him. The Q and S does not say my wife must dress like an Arab woman from the 600s CE to be viewed as modest dress. I get into a lot of debates with Arab and African brothers what is to be viewed as modest dress.

I have seen girls wearing western clothing or traditional Muslim clothing with hijab but have the clothing so tight, that I know ever shape and curve of her body. I could tell you her size, cup size, hip measurements heck fire the jeans, pants or dress were so tight I could see the line of the crack of her butt. This is Haram (sinful) and you are able to do it in both western dress or traditional Muslim dress. I have even made some girls mad when I ask why do you wear hijab and dress with it so outfit so freaking tight?

But now to the other way. If a woman wears western clothing or traditional clothing and it is not tight and covers what is to be covered it is 100% fine and ok, it does not become wrong just because it is western outfit. Islam was multi-cultural before multi-cultural was cool.

I did get into trouble at lankawi, and Arab saw me wearing my kopah (muslim hat) and came up and asked if I was Muslim. I said yes and I said you must be Arab, he asked how did I know, I said only an Arab man would makes his wife dress ultra conservative (she was in a face cover and full black juba) and then dress Haram himself (he was just in shorts). He informed me I can not say such a thing, I pointed I’m, American and we can say anything. I said can you back the way you are dressed with Q and S? He was getting mad and said something in Arabic, I informed him I hope Allah only blesses him with daughters for being such a hypocrite. The next day he came to me dressed modestly and asked me to remove my curse.

The fact as in this picture I am in a Malay outfit even though I am not Malay, shows that as long as we dress modest it does not matter which culture we copy in our style of clothing.



Magic, to believe or not to believe….
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20 April 2009 at 12:12
When I lived in Arizona I use to debate (dawah) a lot with Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Pagans Native Americans, and Neo Pagans. (as Suz and Vince can testify too, LOL) After some time my girlfriend (can be seen in old fling photo album) left me because of religious differences. Suz introduced me to Junita Jamaludin (so June can blame Suz if she wants because it is all her fault). I fell in love with Junita and then one day before I was too meet her I ran into a person I debated with (Apache Pagan) and joked, I want an Apache Charm, so he took me to a lady shaman and I bought the charm. June and I met, I asked her to marry me and she said I do. ;-) I teased my wife that I don’t believe in Magic and you said if you don’t believe in it, it can’t work. She replied that it was used against her and she believes in it so the Charm worked and made her fall in love with me. LOL I still think it was my natural charm, great looks, wonderful personality…. Oh wait, maybe it was the Apache Charm….



Monkey syndrome (people against interracial marriages)
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Today at 09:13
When I was younger (so much younger than today), as my high school friends can testify to, I always had a drawing towards women of color. Before Soodabeh I had dated (even though I wanted to be a priest, yes Bob a priest, lol) While at Vincennes University I became a reactionary racist because I was dating a black girl and the black boys were mad about it. The next year I was talking to the woman preacher (Methodist) about I might be a bit racist she told me to hang out with Sarah (a black girl at the campus crusade for Christ) for a while so we hung out together and then we started to date. The preacher called me over and said, I said be friends with her NOT date her. LOL

My mother when informed I would be marrying a brown woman was talking to my Falster Sister who said to my mom, “well at least she is not a nigger” which my mom replied, “Malay (Brown) is close enough to nigger to be nigger”

My father was not happy about it and tried to talk to me about it, pointing out the difficulties of interracial marriages. (Alhamdulillah (thanks be to God) both my parents came to love June (more than me, LOL) and the racial different did not matter anymore)

While at Purdue, June would walk over to my library and pick me up for lunch and then we would go get a bite to eat. We did this every day for the 6 years I worked for Purdue. Couple of times June would be walking and there were white girls behind her talking they said, There goes that Arab (could not tell the difference between an Arab and Malay) Muslim to get her white Christian boyfriend (Could not tell by the rings we were married nor that I was a Muslim). They should leave our men alone and date their own men (but had I been single they would not be interested in me, because I’m not good looking, athletic or rich, LOL)

Of course the Malay guy in the mall (story in other note)

I know 3 girls in Malaysia whose fathers were Hindu and their Mothers are Malay. Now their fathers (Who when they married their wives expected their father-in-laws too look past race) do not want their daughters to marry anyone but Indian. One of the girls asked me to come and talk to her father because she wants to marry a Eurasian (Half White Half Malay) I talked to him pointing out what kind of hypocrite he was, he implied that Indian women (and the Indians r the racist about letting Indian women marry non Indians) are bad. So I used his logic to point out that his wife must be bad, for she married outside her race.

Now I was watching National Geographic, the other day and they were following a troop of monkeys in India. There was an old temple on the border of the troop territory. This was also on the border of another troop of monkeys. One day the two troops ran into each other. So all the females from Troop B were trying to have sex with the males from Group B, all the females from troop B were trying to have sex with the males from group A. The males were trying to have sex with the females from the other group while at the same time stop their females from having sex with the other troop. Primitive primate behavior, some Humans have not rise above this also. LOL

Islam and majority of the Christian denomination are the two major religions that put race aside and mainly worry about faith/belief in the marriage of their people. While Hinduism, Judaism, Sikhs, and others religions stress the importance of race in marriage. That the person you're planning to marry should be of your race, especially for the women of their race.

 

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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]A€Bii

A special friend is rare indeed, it beems to be special breed, yes, perfect friends r very few, so lucky I m for having you. They say it takes a minute 2 fine a special person, an hour 2 appreciate them, a day 2 love them, but then an entire life 2 forget them. When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your wish for today? “I said : please take special care of the person reading this!!!!!!!”

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Last edited by hashmi_lonly; 06-05-2009 at 12:19 PM..

[K@IN@@T]

very nice bhai

 

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[IMG][/IMG]

Thousands Of Yesterdays Have Gone, Millions Off Tomorrows Come,BUT, There Is Only ONE "TODAY",So, Enjoy You TODAY & Don't LIVE In WHT IS NOT TODAY."

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

[(¯*♥¤»ƙɧՄՏɧՅԾԾ«¤♥*¯)]

acha hay BAHI

 

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[Ghuncha]

Nice

 

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[AYAZ]

kafli lamba article hei wesay thanks for sharing

 

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ALLAH FARMATA HAI :
AEY BANDEY JO HUA
WO ACHA HUA .
JO HORAHA HAI ACHA HO RAHA HAI.
JO HOGA WO BHI ACHA HOGA.
TERA KIYA GAIYA JO TU ROTA HAI
TU KIA LAYA JO TU NE KHO DIYA.
JO LIYA YAHIN (DUNYA) SEI LIYA
JO DIYA YAHIN (DUNYA) PE DIYA
JO AAJ TERA HAI PEHLAY KISI AUR KA THA
AUR KAL KISI AUR KA HOGA.
TABDEELI KAINAAT KA MAMOOL HAI
BAS TU WO JAMA KAR JO TU SATH LEI KAR JANEY WALA HAI
YANI NAIK AMAAL.

[A L i]

Hashmi Bro

article thora perha hai .. bahut acha hai
& Mash Allah se nice pic

 

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[~wish munda~]

coooooooooooooool

 

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Tere Dil Main Meri Sanso Ko Panah Mil Jaey
Tere Ishq Main Meri Jaan Fana Ho Jaey

[Roshni]

nice

 

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EEVERY THING IS FAIR IN LOVE & IN WAR

[Dashing Ahsan]

mene poora nhe read kia.. bht lamba choora hai but nice 1

 

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FRIENDS 4 EVER

Friends are like the colour pencils ,
they colour our lives ,

I may not be your favourite COLOUR ,
But hope you will need me some where to complete ur picture

DA$H!ng AH$AN

[FAJAAN]

nyce bt mai nai parha nahi phr bhe nyce qk tumnay share kia hurt mat hona dil bara karo or thx kaho lolz